Michelle Obama on Barack, Embracing Her Vulnerability & Life After the White House.

Now, with time to process two terms in office—a historic run of accomplishments and struggles—Obama has released her highly anticipated memoir, Becoming. Ahead of her book release, the former FLOTUS sat down with Oprah at Elle magazine, and got real about her marriage to Barack, the threats made against her children, and life after the White House.

“We moved at such a breakneck pace from the moment we walked in those doors until the moment we left.”

“We have to feel that optimism. For the kids. We’re setting the table for them, and we can’t hand them crap. We have to hand them hope. Progress isn’t made through fear. We’re experiencing that right now.

“Fear is the coward’s way of leadership. But kids are born into this world with a sense of hope and optimism. No matter where they’re from. Or how tough their stories are. They think they can be anything because we tell them that. So we have a responsibility to be optimistic. And to operate in the world in that way.”

“Well, you go because you think the counselor is going to help you make your case against the other person. ‘Would you tell him about himself?!’ And lo and behold, counseling wasn’t that at all. It was about me exploring my sense of happiness. What clicked in me was that I need support and I need some from him. But I needed to figure out how to build my life in a way that works for me.’

“I feel vulnerable all the time. And I had to learn how to express that to my husband, to tap into those parts of me that missed him—and the sadness that came from that—so that he could understand.

“We felt the pressure from the minute we started to run. First of all, we had to convince our base that a black man could win. It wasn’t even winning over Iowa. We first had to win over black people.”